home?

well I made it back safe and sound.

thought I would let you all know.

not sure what I think of all this being home business. I feel strange to say the least. I am enjoying reconnecting with people who I've been missing in ways the past 7 months but I fear losing my connections with those I grew close to in the past 7 months. The two worlds are tearing me in different directions and that is painful. And I'm still in a process of reflecting and absorbing my past experiences while constantly being faced with the future and that's overwhelming. It's going to be a hard process but I also look forward to growing in and continuing to learn from it. And I'm thankful that I'm forced to endure this process because of what it means I've come from.

go back to school in a week, not sure if I'll keep this up or not, we'll see if anything moves me.

thanks for all of you who went on this journey on me and take care.

saying goodbye again

I’m tired of saying goodbye. I have said goodbye to people more in the past year than ever in my life; friends and family at home, friends who graduated, Namibia and now Cape Town. How do you properly say goodbye to people who have impacted your life more than you can ever explain and to places that warms your heart and fills you up when ever you look around you? So much more I wanted to share in my posts about my experience in Cape Town, for instance, I never explained what I really do at SHADE and what they do as an organization which I should try to explain again some time because it really is incredible, so many people are reached, thousands, incredible. I would really love to work for an organization like SHADE someday; I’ve never experienced working for something that I believe in as much as I believe in what SHADE does. This organization made up of 5 permanent staff (plus a couple volunteers) is impacting people all over the continent in enormous, life changing ways, and it truly is all done out of love.

I went back to Namibia to visit for a week. I don’t know what it is about that country but my heart just feels happier there. It was so nice to be back, strange for sure, but so nice. My visit was far too short but I think it was good it didn’t last longer because who knows if I would have left this time if I stayed longer! It was wonderful but painful to leave again, God willing, I’ll be back someday.

Yesterday was my birthday and it was definitely one of the best birthdays I’ve ever had. The night before I had dinner at my fellow interns’ house and then we celebrated some. Next morning, pancakes then to work for a couple hours which were filled with music, dancing, mardi gras beads and toilet paper streamers. Then a visit to Robben Island, the island off the cape that hosted the political prisoners like Nelson Mandela. The island was interesting but a little disappointing because half of it was closed for maintenance. The boat ride however was spectacular. Get picked up just to be brought to my place for a surprise party for me. I had absolutely no clue and it was so nice and so fun, made me feel extremely special and Branca sure can cook J Then a few of my closest friends and myself went out and got our groove on, African style, so much fun.

Today I spent a couple hours on the back of a motorbike driving through the mountains and along the coast, breathtaking views, really refreshing, definitely a highlight.

So now I’m trying to say goodbye and prepare for my trip home, which quite frankly I’m absolutely terrified of. My loved ones at home: don’t take offense if I don’t seem like I don’t want to be there, it doesn’t mean I don’t love you, it just means I miss this place like crazy and not sure what I think about living in the states.

What I will miss about living in Woodstock, Cape Town:

• Hearing the daily Muslim calls to worship
• walking by my friend Nicolas who is painting the house near me who continuously greets me and tries to teach me a little Xhosa
• walking by my friend Babishe the security guard who continuously tells me I’m crazy for various things and trying to communicate to him through his broken English and my broken French
• hugging Tembo’s (my boss) children
• hearing david (tembo’s husband) laugh and tell me naughty boy every time he needs me to move so he can get in the safe
• Philomene’s laughter and asking me to make crazy phone calls and then trying to understand what the heck she’s talking about
• Everything about philomene
• Laughing with Branca (my housemate) about men and Americans and everything crazy in life
• Pap and spinach
• The wonderful music that makes my soul sing
• Milos and Don Pedros
• the ocean
• The mountains, the incredible mountains that seem to stretch forever and especially into my heart
• Hiking table mountain and looking upon the city
• Conversations and gaining words of wisdom from Retha and Greg and how they seem to care
  
• Freddy’s dancing
• Walking by the video guy on my way to Shoprite who just laughs at me
• Taxi drivers yelling “Cape Town, Wyneberg” and chasing after you when you certainly don’t want a ride
• living in a constant state of awe and fear
  
• Buying lots of grocers for very little money
• Sunrises and sunsets
• Feeling like I can contribute
• Walking to work and taking public transport to most places
• Learning to communicate with people whose first language is not English
• Being part of something important
• Late night chats with Kelly
• The girls from Sivewe and watching them run around half naked on the beach
• SMSing
• Sunny days in cape town
• many peoples' laughter
  
• Attending Woodstock Methodist church
• Mama Charlotte
• The colorful houses and streets
• Talking to random people in the streets
• Not continuously having guilt
• Hearing stories of refugees and stories from those under apartheid
• Feeling free and inspired on a daily basis
• Everyone I’ve met and grown to love

I will surely miss everyone and everything (well not quite everything) here and in southern Africa. I have now spent a little over 6 months in southern Africa and it has been incredible. I wish I could somehow express how I’ve changed and what I’ve learned but that you’ll just have to see for yourself. I’m so glad I had this experience and will never be the same because of it, and generally in a good way. For all of you out there who wonder about Africa, all you really need to know is that the people are incredible; I have never met a collective group of people who are so friendly, so hospitable, so loving and so joyful than those I’ve met in the past 6 months. That is what I want to take back with me the most: to love people like I’ve seen love here.

youth tujenge 2007!

So part of my internship responsiblities is to work with the youth. Last week was a camp that is designed to provide a fun place for kids and a place where they can grow to be strong leaders and responsible people. They play lots of games but also many talks and lessons are given - good mixture of both. I was one of the main leaders helping organize the camp and responsible for a few of the talks. There were around 55 kids ranging from age 5 to age 18 and then around 13 adult leaders. It was crazy and hectic and exhausting to say the least. But it goes without saying there was a lot of beautiful moments and incredible joy and fun. I learned a lot about the youth that week but also about myself and my limits. It was an incredible growing experience and it was an incredible chance to experience love and inspiration from Africa's youth.

we had the camp in a place called Franshhoek, absolutly beautiful, surrounded my mountains and wonderful weather.
here are some of the girls from the camp
Moussa led a lot of the talks with the older youth, this is one of the times, and it was quite amazing how much they understood and shared and frustrated and inspired me.
my name is Kapale and I love baboons!!! - craziest and funniest kid
Here is me with Judith, one of Tembo's (my boss at SHADE) daughters whom I love. she is one of those people will love you first and get to know you second. (and check out my hair!)

here is the hair party - the 4 US girls got their hair plated (braided)
ok, don't laugh too much, but I was a African model for the talent show (so were the other US girls). The last night all the kids put on acts, danced, sang, modeled, acted, for a talent show. It was absolutly incredible! All the kids were incredibly supportive of eachother, screaming and cheering each other on. There was tension sometimes at the camp between the younger youth and the older youth but the older kids really supported the younger kids, it was really great.
I have never seen so many icnredible dancers than in the past 5 1/2 months. I'm just in awe and how these kids can move. Here is Rocher and Benny do their dance which was great.
Chad with the little boys from the camp who were frustrating when they didn't listen but they also were very inviting towards me and really enjoyed spending time with us and eachother.
here is the whole crew.

It was a challening but amazing week and I will miss some of the kids and the moments.

more next time...

the most beautiful places

So long time since my last post. I'm going to do 3 posts fairly soon. This one, the first, will be about some fun times hiking and bumming around the Western Cape, which truly is one of the most beautiful places, like they say it is. I've been up table mountain a couple more times since my last post. The 2nd time was on a way called ledges, which is exactly how it sounds, I had to climb up rock wall and shimmy across ledges, exhilirating and amazing, great time, great day.
There's a group of women who are somewhat involved with the 3 churches that make up inner city mission which SHADE is somewhat connected to, who have a group called JAWs and one weekend we took a trip to Betty's Bay. Betty's Bay is about an hour away and the drive there and the place is probably the most beuatiful scenery of my life. It was a fun week-end full of laughter, food, chatter, and amazing views.

Here are some of the ladies. Kelly is on the left who is the other intern here for the summer. Branca is on the right, she is my house mate.
we took a walk through some gardens/park which was beautiful, here is a waterfall that we saw.
This is where the penguins are, and well, just look at the pic, it's spectacular.
penguins! there were lots and lots of penguins all over the place - such funny creatures.
here is a view from Lion's head - another mountain near table mountain that one day we went up. those are the 12 apostles - though I'm told don't bother counting, it doesn't add up to 12
here's another view of cape town from lion's head - the mountain in the pic is called devil's peak
here is chris and greg and his daughter katie who rides on his back when he runs up mountains
me and kelly on top of lion's head - robben island in the background which I'm finally going to this weekend!

pictures will come of me petting a wild zebra hopefully soon, along with my next post on the camp I just help run, then a post on SHADE and their work and their wonderful people.

ps - I'm really happy here and can't believe my time is almost up - in a week I go to namibia for a week then come back and have a week left, then home, crazy.

sunrises

This week has been good, no it's been great. I'm having one of those weeks where I am grateful to be alive and really happy to be where I am.
I was struggling, and still do at times, with being in Cape Town. Sure it's beautiful here and I really like my job and I've met some wonderful people, but it's also lonely sometimes and boring and different and hard to be so close to a country where I know I'm happy but can't go there. But it has also been continuously getting better, and this week just made me realize how fortunate I am to be here and helped me look at life in a more positive light.
So we'll start with sunday...
Sunday morning Kelly (other intern) and I made fruit salad for a meeting after church and then got completely soaked walking over (it rains a lot here). I went to the Woodstock church and this week Tembo, my boss, was preaching and the whole service was great, best one I've been too in a while. After that the church had a meeting and social time, talked, ate food, building community. From there Kelly and I enjoyed an episode or two of West Wing and some good discussion and after that just a relaxing evening with a phone call with my mom and some movie on tv.
Monday, was just a fun day at work. Tembo and Greg (2 bosses) are out of town this week so it's quieter but Tembo's daughters and friends came in and had some fun chatting with them. Later went over to Kelly's for dinner.
Tuesday work was good and Kelly and I tried to go to Observatory b/c Kelly was supposed to lead this service at an old-folks home but it got cancelled but it was a fun adventure. From there I went to town for French class and thoroughly enjoyed it. Making friends with a couple of the students to that's good.
Wednesday was amazing. Came to work and then we get a crew together to go to Franschook, a town about an hour or so away from Cape Town. SHADE is hosting a youth camp the first week of july and it will be at Franschook so we decided to go check it out and it was a good excuse to have a nice day trip. Absolutely breathtaking drive through endless mountains, I wish I had my camera, it was really amazing. We get to this place and its just a few cabins and dinning hall in the middle of trees and mountains. The guy shows us around and then we go up to his place at the top of the hill and man this guy has it made, he has 6 dogs, the most incredible view and a built-in ground trampoline which I quite enjoyed. From there we went to pick-n-pay (grocery store) got food then took it to a field and had a picnic, in the middle of mountains, which ended with a small game of tag. I needed to get out of the city for a day and see some nature, it really does wonders on my soul. It was great company and a great day.
Yesterday was another good day. I started the day with a short run and the most beautiful sunrise. I ran up to the office and stood on the railing so I could see over the houses and was taken aback by the beauty. The sun was peaking over a mountain shining on the ocean and the buildings as the clouds just hovered over the tips of the mountains, and it stretched far and wide, truly incredible. Kelly and I decided to take the afternoon off and Joyce, Tembo's 18yr old daughter, joined us and showed us around. We went to the waterfront for lunch and then walked along the ocean (so wonderful and so needed) to sea point to have coffee. Joyce was so much fun to be around and quite handy as well as we tried to figure out the bus system. we went back to waterfront and wandered around for a few hours as our ride was stuck in traffic because the president of the DRC was on his way to where we were (the mall is connected to a hotel). So we grabbed some dinner (I missed french class) and went home.
Today I look forward to the youth coming and tomorrow a braai at tembo and david's house, sunday some music and then we'll see what happens from there. So a great week, great country, and great times. I'm finally starting to good about everything again and that is a refreshing feeling to have.

le berceau

I’ve been in southern Africa over 4 months, Cape Town 1 month and have exactly (from yesterday) 2 months left. So many emotions and feelings and experiences, no idea to do with it all or myself. But am still happy to be here and look forward to my return someday. My internship is going well but more on that and life here in an up and coming post. For now I just wanted to share an example of my work and the beauty of Africans that I recently witnessed.

Fridays are youth club and this Friday we had 16 beautiful girls from the local orphanage/home for girls who can no longer live at home come. There was confusion on what was supposed to happen that day so they were the only ones there. Kelly (the other intern) and I had to wing the whole thing because we were informed we were in charge a couple hours previously. So we got 100 Rand to pay for snacks and thought we would propose the idea to the girls that they could to whatever they wanted with the 100 Rand as long as they worked together, made sure everyone participated, and it was within Woodstock (the town). They got so excited and decided right away that they would use it to buy food and would go to Shoprite (grocery store) to get everything. Kelly and I stepped outside to let them discuss and come up with a plan on their own.
They did fabulously; they called us in and had a list of what they wanted to buy and how they would get it all. We asked them to make a few rules about the trip and they came up with some basic but important rules.
Keep in mind there were 16 girls ranging from age 5 to 17, and not to mention they all live together. And they had a budget of around US$13. They were so excited and grateful to have this opportunity to buy what they wanted for once and make their own decisions about it; it was quite humbling.
We walked down to the store and there was some confusion in deciding what to get but overall I was very impressed how they worked together and were willing to compromise on what to get. They only went 23 cents over and got bread, polony, chips, drinks, cookies, marshmallows and little candies.
We got back to the SHADE office and a few girls went in to make sandwiches for everyone while everyone else split up everything, and I mean everything. They counted the cookies and put them into piles. They poured a little cool drink into every cup until they knew there was enough for everyone. They counted the marshmallows and distributed them evenly, and the same with the candies. It was incredible. And no one ate until everyone got their share. That is something I have noticed a lot in Namibia and South Africa, people ration out food to make sure everyone gets an even amount. And you would think in a places where food isn’t quite as bountiful as in the US, people would be more selfish about it but it seems to be the opposite here. The only falter with the girls was the chips, they went a little crazy fighting for the chips but once we pointed out how they acted they offered up theirs to share.
I was completely impressed and amazed at how mature and responsible all the girls acted with the activity. I was also amazed at how much they enjoyed the exercise and were grateful for the opportunity. If we had done the same thing for kids in the States, gave them $13 (or even $50) to spend however they wanted, they most likely would laugh or would just want the leaders to get it for them. But these girls kept saying thank you and truly enjoyed the experience and took it in stride.
It was a beautiful example of life here but also a beautiful example of how humanity can be; sharing, respectful to all, and continuously grateful for what given.I left SHADE that day with joy in my heart and on my face after witnessing such beauty.

starting over again

well, welcome to cape town - a bustling city of 5 million and me somewhere amongst it all.
Cape Town has been quite the emotional roller coaster since I have arrived. Days go by where I am happy as can be and then end up feeling depressed later on. Cape Town has not been easy or anything like Namibia so far - but I'm sure after time I will adjust.
Leaving Namibia was very difficult - I don't know if I have ever been that consistently happy before - so coming some place new it is impossible to not compare it.
I spend the first 10 days with my CGE group. We did some amazing things, met great speakers, saw a lot and overall it was good. But we were all emotional about the program ending and I am anxious about my new adventure starting so it was hard to be as excited about everything as I would have been if it had just been a vacation and we all return to Namibia afterwards. They all left a week ago and that was very difficult - I keep thinking about all of you and what you would say or do in certain instances - miss you!
After the 10 days a couple good friends stuck behind for a week and we did some travelling together, some bumming around Cape Town and in the middle I started to move in and get adjusted. One of the highlights was going on an overnight trip and we went to the southern most point of Africa! It also happens to be where the Atlantic and Indian Oceans meet – I have now touched the Indian Ocean – new experience for me J
Cape Town is a little overwhelming and I think I have been experiencing some culture shock - it is much more developed and westernized than Namibia. And I don't like it at all when people say Cape Town (or South Africa for that matter) aren't real Africa - it's all Africa my friends - but it is unlike the Africa I fell in love with. I think if I had come straight from the States to Cape Town I would be in love with the city and be so happy to be here - its extremely diverse, lots to do and see, and heck I'm surrounded by mountains and ocean - but since I'm coming from Namibia its different. However, I know once I get settled in and meet more people I will love it here as well.
I think my internship is going to be great! SHADE seems like an organization that fits with my views wonderfully and does a lot of good. I am working with a lot of Democratic of the Republic of Congo (and living with) refugees so I am sure I will learn a lot from them - not to mention get in a little french practice. They already have ideas and projects for me to work on which is a great feeling after my time at Beautiful Gate. SHADE has a program called Sister 2 Sister which empowers women to start grass-roots programs all over sub-saharan Africa and they are supporting 28 projects in 20 different countries! I can't wait to learn about all of them.
So despite my struggles and adjustments and moments of feeling lonely - I know this will be another positive experience and I will learn to love it here and learn so much. Here's a few pics of some I've done so far.

Here's what I get to look at on a daily basis - Table Mountain - symbol of the city and yes I climbed that beast - oh to rub it in a little more, when I look the other direction there is the ocean
Some of my girls that I will miss dearly - Shani, Courtney, Chantal, Jess, Kesem - love you all!
One day we went to Cape Point - beautiful, really breath taking.

Here's me at Cape Point soaking up all of the beauty around me
Here's a place right outside of town that we went to after visiting an old township. All these houses are brand new - built after apartheid ended - government housing essentially.
We went to District 6 museum - very interesting. District 6 was a mixed community but in the 1960s the government evicted 60,000 people and forced them to the outer townships and Cape Flats because they didn't want a mixed community anymore and made it a whites only area. So many sad stories of families and friends being seperated from eachother and their homes and their way of life.
We went to a wine farm one afternoon - it was very beautiful. South Africa has some very famous wineries.
Here's a view from Table Mountain - seriously one of the most difficult hikes - imagine 95 minutes (just on the way up) on a stairmaster and you might get an idea of what it was like

well that's it for now - hope you all are doing well.